Saturday, March 29, 2008
The other day I remembered an event in Italy to recount, but sadly, I've already forgotten what it was. Garn.
At least the one thing I'll remember was the time at which we were all waiting for the results. The room at that point was filled with varying emotions, I think. On one side there was the round table with Boss, Ann, WY, YT, Gnia, Sheena etc. where they were all emoing and staring at his handphone, waiting for the results.
XM, XT, DX and me were laughing about goodness knows what at the next table, but like I said, my laughter was my method of staving off nervousness. No point getting extra depressed before you know anything.
Then suddenly the TV in the place was showing this music video with a man and woman doing kung-fu against each other. Bryan said it would end up in sex, which it apparently implied later on. The moment it switched mode, I quickly turned away, "see no evil", only to see EVERYONE on that side of the room watching the video! Even the 14 year olds! It was disgraceful!
I got a bit hysterical at seeing them all stare at the screen, but to no avail. So the mood was less tense. It also got more light-hearted after we sang Happy Birthday to Caleb. Then suddenly Ms Yang came to talk to us, first stating that the results were still unknown. At that point we were all feeling less stressed because the results were taking so long.
Then she said, "but we will not be performing tonight." I didn't really get it at first, and then I understood that was the thing we were all hoping against hope for, and that one line destroyed whatever sliver of hope anyone might have had. And it was quiet in the room.
She talked a bit more about dinnertime, meeting time, what to wear, etc. I was telling myself not to cry, because I hadn't really expected to win the category, and crying in front of everyone is such a paiseh thing to do. I was actually holding up well. And then Boss put his head on his arm, and someone whispered, "Conan's crying."
That sentence did it, I think. Because then the people at that emo table, including me who had gone over there were all red-eyed, and the girls were mostly crying. I suppose the guys were better at keeping it in. WY, Ann, YT, Gnia, LC, me... XM was extremely strong about it, I feel.
I felt annoyed with myself for crying, but once you let your face crumple into the distorted likeness of crying, it's very hard to stop. Of course the teachers continued with the whole 'we already did well', 'not about the prize', 'Ms Lim is proud of you' stuff. Every single word was true, and not a single word neutralised the disappointment at all.
After that, we went to the nearby gelato store to buy gelato to make ourselves feel a bit better. Then I don't know why LC walked off by himself, then Gnia went to make sure he was ok, and me and XM had our ice-cream in a place sheltered from the cold wind.
I'm okay with the fact that we were so upset. Even though it may make us seem like people who only care about winning as opposed to making music, I think it shows our care and love for the choir. It also doesn't mean that we're satisfied with ourselves, because there's always room for improvement.
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
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